Let’s talk about wedding planning for a hot second. It’s a lot of work. There are so many to do lists leading up to the big day, it can be incredibly overwhelming. But I LOVE all of that. I am not a wedding planner by any means, but at this point in my wedding photography career, I could be! Talking, organizing, dreaming, checking off boxes, tiny details <— all right up my alley. An engagement session is a wonderful chance for me to get to know the couple. I truly love seeing the nerves at the beginning of the session fade away into a million smiles. We have a good time!
Top Secret
Maybe I’m giving away secrets here, but I’ve recently starting using prompts during my sessions. Things like “kiss with your teeth”. Sounds silly huh? But this is what follows! The determination of “how the heck do we do that?” always gets genuine smiles. Aaron and Emily killed it.
I do my very best to make everyone comfortable during a session. Using prompts, talking about wedding details, questions about jobs, and where they’re from, how they met, etc. really help connect us. I guess selfishly I don’t want to be “just the photographer”. I want to be someone you can rely on. The person you can call or message any time asking about timelines, and dress colors, or if you should cut the cake before dinner (I always vote yes to that haha). I want to be there for you, and I promise I will be. I understand how important that day will be, how stressful, how expensive, and how exciting. But what I also know is that on that day, the stress will melt away and I will be there to capture the pure joy of marrying the love of your life surrounded by your family and friends.
During your engagement session, I just want to capture who you are as a couple. I am always completely surprised about how willing the grooms-to-be are to go with my crazy ideas. Good sports I tell ya. So just know that when I become your wedding photographer, I will also be a friend. Photographers capture the most important moments in your life, but we are there to tie ties, draw signs, direct people, touch up makeup, bring pretty umbrellas in case of r***, and taste test cake before guests arrive (oh! are we not supposed to do that? just kidding). Enjoy some of my favorite black and whites from Emily and Aaron’s session.
Recently, one of my best childhood friends added her second sweet baby girl to her family. I offered to load up my gear and come for a visit. As I carted all of my stuff into her home, I realized I was smack dab in the (very familiar) newness of it all. She was in a mid nursing session of a brand new baby who eats every .00034 seconds all while trying to entertain her toddler. I almost felt guilty barging in on her during this time of figuring it all out. It really took me back to when I brought my second home. You. Are. Just. Trying. To. Survive.
Survival Mode
Sleep? What’s that? As mothers we can seriously run the world on little-to-no sleep. I still haven’t quite figured out how we manage that other than understanding that we have no other choice. No one’s coming by daily to let you take a nap that’s for sure. So when I saw my sweet friend in her comfy clothes, with a body still recovering, baby latched, and a toddler playing, what I really saw was the type of tired only a mother understands.
Deprivation
Whether I wanted it to or not, visiting really sent me into a reminiscent state, both good and bad. There’s absolutely nothing like holding your brand new little love. The smell is certainly intoxicating. But in the midst of all that goodness, is your own body that seemingly doesn’t look, feel, or act like your body. It doesn’t work in the way it once did. You need help sitting up, standing up (and down), lifting, showering, and every little thing you could do by yourself prior to housing that beautiful babe. Gosh those days are rough. There’s schedules you make only to be broken. Dinner you make, only to eat it cold. Looking at the clock and dreading the next feeding time, and then looking at the clock again and dreading “bedtime” because you know it’s not really bedtime for you. You are deprived in every aspect of the word.
HELP HER!
For the love of all things Holy, help the new mom (whether it be her first, second, 5th, 10th child, I don’t care). Do not make her ask you, because I speak from my own experience, she will NEVER ask you. She can rule the world remember? All while not sleeping at that. She will continue to fight through the fog to complete as many daily tasks as her body and mind will allow. She will search to the depths of her soul to make sure her family and household chores are taken care of. That momma will use every ounce of the energy she has left to meet the needs of all others before her own. She will forget to fuel her body because she’s busy feeding everyone else. She will attempt to serve others from an entirely empty vessel.
So how can you help? So glad you asked.
Just a few ideas:
Make and take her a meal (or 3)
Pick up/clean her home
Do the dishes/laundry
Take her other children outside to play
Remind her to take a shower
Let her talk through her feelings!
So here’s the thing. I applaud you for taking the initiative to help a momma out. But can you continue to do it on occasion throughout the first 6 months, or year even? This is not a “I volunteered once and now I’m done” type of thing. While things do tend to develop into a routine, it certainly doesn’t mean a mom doesn’t appreciate a meal, a maid, a toddler entertainer, a BREAK every now and then.
Let her Speak
Oh, this is so important. I think often I felt stuck in my own head. Constantly telling myself tomorrow would be better. Postpartum is riding some wild waves at times. Having a support system is imperative. Especially friends and family that will recognize you need help even if you aren’t verbalizing that (because she will NEVER ask, remember?) Just offer to come over. Not to hold the baby, unless she asks you to. Simply offer her a listening ear, because the healing that occurs through talking is pretty amazing. —> scroll just a little for props to some amazing local groups at the end of this post!
On Facebook: OneMotherhood Birth Circle and Muskingum County Breastfeeding Moms.
I have personally been a part of both of these groups for a few years respectively. Being able to talk and listen to other mommas that are going through similar experiences as you is one of the best things I did for my soul.
It’s Hard
Figuring out how to do life with little people that need you every single second of the day is the hardest, most rewarding job I’ve ever had. I will be the first to admit that I struggle on the daily. I have no schedule, life is a whirlwind, some days I feel like superwoman, and somedays I wish I could run away (to the beach). We feel a great desire to get some “me” time, only to rush back home because we miss our kids so much. We crave a clean home, but know that time is fleeting and they will leave the nest someday. I honestly hate the phrase “enjoy every moment, they grow up so fast”. Because let’s be real here. You can’t possibly enjoy every dang moment. Motherhood is hard. Enjoy what you can, and just try to survive the not so good moments. Your kids will love you through it all, and they see you as the most perfect momma even in your darkest days.
Hey everyone! I’m Kelsey and this is my most loved little family, Josh, Crew, and Bryn. My two littles are the reason I have grown to love photography so much although, I don’t actually photograph my children with my “real” camera as much as you’d think. The good ole iPhone does the trick for me most days during the hustle and bustle of life. I’m the owner of Kelsey Sutherland Photography in Norwich, Ohio.
Why I decided to Blog
Well, why not? I guess coming from a small town, blogging most definitely isn’t how you put food on the table. But then again, 6 years ago when I decided to delve into the photography world, I didn’t dream that it would help me provide for my family. So risks are worth taking I suppose. I felt like I needed an outlet, or avenue, or change of scenery, whatever you want to call it. I’m a stay-at-home working mom ( <—- has anyone coined that term?) I have felt an overwhelming desire to do something different to (re)set my soul on fire. Day’s spent listening to B-L-I-P-P-I isn’t quite cutting it for me.
Who am I?
That’s a pretty broad question that I will try to answer in as few words as possible. So here’s me in a nutshell:
Christian
Wife
Mom
Coffee Lover (esp. Chapman’s in New Concord, OH.)
Photographer
Blogger
Evolving home renovator/ DIY’er
Staying at home with littles is hard. Great? yes. Mentally exhausting? 100%. I never pictured myself as a stay-at-home mom. Matter of fact, about once a week I claim I’m going job hunting. But then I re-evaluate why I am doing what I’m doing at this moment in my life. God has planned all of this out from the start so I’m just going to go with it. So yes, I stay at home with my kids, but I also work very unconventional hours. Evenings, late nights, before kids wake up, weekends, in the middle of the day, on vacation. It’s taken me a while to adapt to the “not going into work” type of work. But it’s getting better everyday. Now I can add blogging to my list of to-do’s.
What’s next?
I’m not even sure I can answer that fully. What I do know is that this blog will be real life. My hope is to feature my photography and give you a glimpse of how I feel after a session. I want to share all of my exciting DIY’s, renovations, projects, and epic fails. Overall, I just want to use this blog to do good. Spread kindness, love, and my faith. Talk about motherhood and being a wife. And just give myself a new purpose in this life. Because life is always changing, I am always growing and learning, and there’s no reason not to chase a dream you never even dreamed would exist.
Kelsey Sutherland Photography 